No One Knows What Goes On Behind Closed Doors

Last night, a friend and I were at one of the local watering holes in Milledgeville, Georgia's Antebellum Capital.  As we sat and enjoyed our cold beverages, a woman, who Lewis Grizzard would describe as having "obvious quality", was enjoying a cold beverage with her girlfriends.  Being open mic night at this particular establishment, we patrons were dealt one card short of a straight flush.  As the night went on and different groups performed, my friend and I noticed a strange looking boy with a mohawk approach the woman of "obvious quality".  Now, I don't know which number this particular establishment was in her queue of watering holes for the night, but she and the strange boy with a mohawk got to talking.

My friend remarked, "Would you look at that?  What is he doing talking to her?!"  Minutes later, the duo on stage who could've been stand ins for Cheech and Chong finished their terrible hip-hop act.  Well, wouldn't you know it?  Our pal with the mohawk took the stage.  Thusly, he began his rap performance.  While her new friend was on stage, the woman with "obvious quality" had moved to the bar area.  At one point during his performance, we heard her tell some girlfriends, "He's soooooo sexy!"

Now, I've never considered myself a ladies man or anything of the nature, but I wouldn't think that a rap performance would lure in a woman like this.  My friend agreed.  He said, "What happened to songs like 'Behind Closed Doors' by Charlie Rich, The Silver Fox, being the best way to woo a woman?"  We couldn't come up with any other answer than that of popular music going to hell in a handbasket.  But I digress...

My friend and I were beside ourselves.  How could this woman of "obvious quality" be so attracted to this mohawk adorned boy?  After a few more cold beverages and minutes of pondering, we still couldn't come up with an explanation.  Finally I asked her, "Ma'am, I couldn't help but overhear you a minute ago, but my friend and I were wondering why it is that you're so attracted to that boy with the mohawk?"  The answer came long before she could ever make one up.  As she turned my way, I could see it in her eyes that she probably wouldn't remember this night.  What a shame.

After explaining the recent discovery to my friend, we sat and wondered what the scenario would be later that night for the woman and her mohawked boy toy.  I asked my friend, "When they're together later tonight and she asks him to sing to her, do you think he'll softly sputter out some rhymes from his rap music?"  My friend shrugged and said, "Unfortunately so, but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors."